Monday, March 18, 2013

It's not my fault, but still...

I remember names from long ago, first and last names.  I could tell you the names of some people I went to elementary and middle school with, though I can't recall a lot of names from high school on up.  If I met you today, I might forget your name within a few seconds, and it wouldn't be because I don't care.  I do. 

Here's a little story about someone whose first and last name I've always remembered, someone I cared about, but someone whose name should not be on a blog without permission.  So I will call her Remembra. 

Remembra was 13 when she first had sex.  It was with a 33-year-old guitar player in a country band.  His name was Andy.  I won't post his last name.

We knew it was wrong, but not for the obvious reasons.  See, we were in Catholic school, so having premarital sex was already a sin, never mind at such a young age.  The fact that Remembra's "boyfriend" was an adult and she was underage was secondary.  We just thought that was gross and weird.  We didn't even know he could go to jail for being with her until she told us.

We wanted to get Remembra some help, but her parents were "mean," especially her step-father who was in his 60's, about 30 years older than her mother.  We knew Remembra's parents would have a fit because they didn't like Andy.  Remembra called the guy "a friend of the family," but he was really an acquaintance of Remembra's mother's ex-husband.  They knew Remembra thought she was in love with Andy and did everything they could to keep her away from him.  We didn't know if they knew Andy was having sex with Remembra, and guessing kept us from making any decisions in that arena.  Besides, Remembra begged us practically every day not to tell them or the police.  So we told our own parents.  And that's all we did.

I fell out of touch with Remembra not long after I graduated high school.  Remembra moved in with her biological father.  She either didn't finish or barely finished high school.  She dated the guitar picker, got into drugs and had his baby.  I'm not clear on the rest.

Here's what I am clear on.  Someone should have done something.  Yes, we were ignorant kids, and the times were different, maybe.  It was the early 1980's and I guess people didn't get into other people's business or they were afraid or they thought kids lied about things like this.  Heck, half the time we, her own friends, wondered if she was lying, just trying to get attention.  We'd never seen this guy, other than in a picture. 

Except there was that time when I was in my early twenties and went to a restaurant in my hometown where they played live music.  The name of the band was the same one Remembra had mentioned.  And so when the band took a break, I walked up to Andy and asked him if he was Andy ____.  He said yes, and I said thank you and sat down and told my friends.  And that's all I did.

I wish I could label this post "fiction."
Post a Comment