The ones I've never had doubts about are PMS, sporadic eating disorder NOS, sporadic and minor Bulemia, depression, anxiety and PTSD. ADHD? Maybe, especially considering it runs in my family. Bi-polar? Hell no. Paranoia and schizophrenia? Nope.
The problem is, there are so many overlaps in symptoms and assumptions about behaviors that I think it's virtually impossible to label and treat mental illness accurately without doing long-term studies on each patient, which we know will not happen because it's too damn expensive.
Here's what I do know, and I don't need a professional to validate any of it.
- My anxiety and depression get a lot worse around my periods, which are irregular. My medication affects me differently around those times of the month.
- My anxiety is increased by my surroundings, especially if the surroundings have lots of PTSD triggers. I know PTSD is a kind of brain scarring, and it takes a long time to heal. So I'm just going with it and trying to make my own accommodations.
- I can get obsessed with projects, especially writing and other work. This can be bad and good.
- I am often noise sensitive (I have tinnitus) and get distracted by this, which can cause more anxiety, depending on where I am. This sometimes makes me irritable as well.
- I get depressed and even morose when I don't have work and/or structure. The severity of the depression varies according to normal, daily stress, biology and anxiety. During these times, it's easy for me to dwell on negativity, especially when I am alone in the house with just this computer.
- There is a link between my normal creative state and PTSD. However, I know where reality begins and ends.
- There is a link between PTSD and agoraphobia.
- I don't sleep well because of aches and pains, pets, strange dreams (often fun), and writing in my mind when I'm half asleep. This screws with my sleeping patterns and moods.
- When I get depressed and/or anxious, I sleep and eat more.
- When I get on brain-overload, I just want to lie down and let the thoughts roam. I pretty much suck at meditation.
- I can get listless, and when I do, no activity particularly appeals to me. I can also get very restless and bored, which makes me irritable and difficult to live with.
- I can be impulsive, especially in speech and writing.
- I can get very forgetful and dippy.
Oh yeah, and did I mention I am left handed?
Ponder that for awhile, shrinks.