Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Letter to a Former Colleague

Dear Alfonzo:

I tried writing this a minute ago, but I lost my post because I have this new mouse that I have not quite mastered.  Maybe this was a blessing, since I now have the opportunity to write a second draft, though I am in a hurry and won't get as much down as I want.  I will skip the details because I put a lot of them down in this post which I wrote shortly after I met you and everything fell apart.  You were a key player in everything falling apart--and I mean "player" in every sense of the word.

First, I hold you responsible for trying (unsuccessfully) to break up my marriage, particularly when you knew I had experienced a rape and assault just months after I met you.  You made fun of my husband. You altered his photo image and sent it through the internet.  You disregarded him and his commitment to his country, and you violated national security in doing so.

Regarding my horrible past experiences, you told me to "let it go," which makes sense, because if I could let it all go, I would be easier prey for you.  And I was easy prey. You knew about my disabilities.  You knew about my medication.  You knew everything about me and had a great time with it.  You socially hacked me.  And you set it all up while we were both working at a school, ironically now called a "university."  I notified the school of what was happening, and they did nothing.  Then, when I told them about my disability and requested I be moved away from you and the area where I was working, I was harassed until they managed to force me out.

I want you to know I hold the school and you responsible for sexual harassment.  I also want you to know I believe that you are a sexual predator.  Not only did you manipulate me, you had an underage girlfriend whom you also manipulated.  No wonder your former best friend, her brother, turned on you. 

I also want you to know that none of you were successful in destroying my life.  I was far too good of a person for that to happen and too many people loved me to allow it.  I've got a strong marriage and a good job with people who protect and respect me.  I deserve all that.  Unfortunately, what you deserve is jail time.  I know this because, ironically, I teach English to men, many of whom are sex offenders.

Though I understand the kind of pain and weakness that made you do these things and I long since forgave you, there must be consequences for actions like these.  It's not too late for you to turn your life around.  It's not too late for you to make a positive difference in the world.  But you need to do it while incarcerated.  And that school needs to make restitution.

The only reason I am not naming the school is that I don't want to get sued and have my reputation as a professional further damaged.  They are vindictive, and I am sure they've got lawyers.  As for you, since I would not want to ruin your reputation, I am not naming you. 

I might edit this letter later, but in the meantime, I hope you and the world learn something from this experience: you cannot prey on people with disabilities.  There are a whole lot of other people out there to make sure you don't.



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