Sunday, March 25, 2012

Substitution: Maybe I'll edit it, maybe I won't

Actually, I am having to substitute the original poem with this revision.  I had some of the phrases backwards (what was supposed to substitute what--it was easy to get muddled in the syntax).


Substitution

Let’s substitute.
A bull-shaped hunk of driftwood for a
ginormous bonfire, an iPad for loose teeth, a slick Macy’s
coupon for an open can of kitty seafood pate, Quartz watches
for corn chowder too long in a dirty pan, bleached Internet fingerprints
and sappy blog comments for bluebells, doilies and diet soda on an untidy desk,
frozen carrots and a dollop of soy butter for a gold nose ring dripping down to the very chin.

Let’s put one thing in place
of another, if for no other reason
than we think we should and can substitute
a thin, cold shoulder for the bellow of an ancient train,
a china closet for a sloppy kiss, static for snowfall, checkbooks
for body lotion, a soccer ball for medical records, vinyl siding for
a suspense novel, op-eds for tree bark, a pedicure for German chocolate
ice cream, a transparent tissue for a vase made in China, a psychiatrist for rage,
my eye for your eye, my cheek for yours. Go ahead.  Slap it.  You know you want to.

----------------------------------------------------
The original post :

Substitution

Let’s substitute.
A bull-shaped hunk of driftwood for a
ginormous bonfire, an iPad for loose teeth, a slick Macy’s
coupon for an open can of kitty seafood pate, Quartz watches
for corn chowder too long in a dirty pan, bleached Internet fingerprints
and sappy blog comments for bluebells, doilies and diet soda on an untidy desk,
a gold nose ring dripping down to the very chin, for frozen carrots and a dollop of soy butter.

Let’s put one thing in place
of another, if for no other reason
than we think we should and can substitute
the bellow of an ancient train for a thin, cold shoulder,
a china closet for a sloppy kiss, static for snowfall, checkbooks
for body lotion, a soccer ball for medical records, vinyl siding for
a suspense novel, op-eds for tree bark, a pedicure for German chocolate
ice cream, a transparent tissue for a vase made in China, a psychiatrist for rage,
my eye for your eye, my cheek for yours. Go ahead.  Slap it.  You know you want to.

Copyright Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt
March 25, 2012



Post a Comment