A couple of quotes jumped out at me this morning as I perused various sites.
First, "When we were very young and undesirable things happened to us – such as being frightened by something – we sought refuge by spontaneously calling Mother or Ma. We ran towards our mother. In the same way, when we face the sufferings or difficulties of samsara, when the problems of the world loom over us, we need to find some kind of protection or refuge. If we cannot discover something outside ourselves, then we must find something inside, a spiritual refuge, something that will give us inner protection and inner strength."
And second, "What is the activity of the Buddha? It is to bring out the Buddha nature in people – the side of them that is positive, white, or light. To bring that out is to do the activity of the Buddhas."
Regarding the first quote, I was thinking about how I am trying to grow my spiritual life, and how that growth has included A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons... In working through the chapters, I discovered that although I have developed a personal theology over the span of my life, I have missed having a physical reminder that the unseen is always around us, loving us, supporting us and leading us in positive directions if we pay attention. With my ADHD, paying attention isn't always a strong suit, but through these lessons, which include an assignment for building an alter, I have re-awakened my senses; that is, in building two alters, one on my kitchen table, the other on my desk, I have constant reminders that I am not alone, that there are eons of spiritual wisdom and enlightenment behind me, beneath me, within me.
Besides making the alters and incorporating light rituals into meal time (which, by the way, are amusing but also enriching the family), and by literally writing notes to myself to reflect three times per day, I feel a sense of peace and connectedness I have not felt for a long time. I find I am calmer more often than I have been.
When I journeyed away from Catholicism, I missed some of the rituals and physical reminders that offer Catholics daily substance. Crosses, statues, pictures and candles are ways to bring believers to a closer consciousness of the spiritual that is with us every day but that we forget is there. Other items such as Rosary beads and scapulars, which are kept close to the body, also carry an energy, reminding the bearer or wearer that "God" is always there.
So I think, since I was raised Catholic, that I was used to these concrete items, that I took for granted their gentle way of entering the subconscious and the soul via the senses, and when I formed my own beliefs, I lost those nice things that help keep us on a spiritual track. My two alters are bringing that back to me, and the sense of peace I get from reminders to meditate, breathe and contemplate are true gifts.
This has been my first lesson.
The second lesson encourages me because I know my philosophy matches the Buddha's--that we should be compassionate, bring kindness and bring out the best in others. I know my dedication to my family and loved ones and my choice in employment reflect my desire to make the world a better place, to help people in need and respect the interconnectedness of everything. But I fail in so many areas because I don't always know how to bring out the best in people. My anger gets in the way.
In the movie, a young Buddhist monk discusses how Buddhist monks and nuns are very human, that they do get angry, and that it's important to embrace that feeling, not to deny it, to experience it and resolve it through meditation and living the practices. I really get that. I also get how the Tibetan monks have led peaceful demonstrations, signifying their strength and yes, anger, but in a positive way. Me? I rant too much. And I sometimes do not forgive.
My ranting, as you might have guessed, has been against politicians and public policy, not against friends or neighbors or any private citizen. Generally, I am a forgiving person. I try not to hold grudges, and if I don't like a person, I will just avoid him/her and understand why s/he is the way s/he is. Understanding the whys and hows of people truly helps put me at peace with people who might otherwise get my innards churning. I don't make excuses for their behavior if it is bothersome behavior, and I do indeed get annoyed or hurt, but in considering the source, I can get past it enough to ensure anger doesn't eat away at my soul or happiness.
This is not the case with at least two politicians whom I have ranted about on this blog. I cannot forgive these two because I believe they have harmed so many people through their discrimination, power mongering and callousness. I believe they are evil, and I don't want anything to do with them. I try not to read anything either of them has to say because I believe whatever they say is a lie or attempted manipulation. To make you understand how serious my feelings are about these two, consider that I understand and forgave my rapist. I cannot do that with these two men, nor am I sure I even want to.
An inability to forgive, however, doesn't hurt the person who isn't forgiven. It hurts the person who cannot forgive. So in being unable to forgive these people, I hurt myself. Staying angry, even if righteously so, is unhealthy. Hence, I am trying to find the means to think about all this in a different way. How can we stay angry enough to effect social change without causing more harm?
This is the question of the day, of course, as we see in our national dialog. Angry people turn into angry groups which turn into mobs, which can only lead to violence if something does not change the course. Fortunately, I don't take well to many groups, and those I do take to tend to be educational, service or charity driven. You will never catch me belonging to a political party, nor will you catch me campaigning for a political candidate. Since I am rather an angry, lone wolf, I can't do much harm. And since I am not prone to violence, I am more like just a howling wolf, which makes some people nervous but more often, just irritated.
Anyway, there is this issue of forgiveness. Do we forgive politicians for hurting people? Do we have the right to do so? Do we even have the capacity to do so? Is forgiveness a personal thing? Do we forgive despots, or does the concept of forgiveness not even apply? Do we have an obligation to keep the flame of anger burning for the purpose of holding politicians accountable?
As I write this, I don't have an answer, but I do have a train of thought that has suddenly entered my head and typing fingers. Maybe, when it comes to politicians, it's not really about forgiveness since it's not really about the person but the politics of that person. Maybe it's more about healing our own hurt and then proceeding in the way our values and beliefs direct us so that we can help others.
But then, what if the politics and policies are evil? Does that make the politician evil? Do we have the right to make that call? I think politicians who perpetuate evil probably are evil. When so many people suffer at the hands of these leaders--and I mean truly suffer, not just pay a few extra dollars in tax increases--how can we not believe these elected officials are evil?
But then, maybe it's not about their evilness. Maybe I shouldn't even worry whether or not they are evil. Maybe I shouldn't worry about whether or not to forgive them because it's a moot point. I can choose not to forgive them, which hurts me, but is justifiable. I can choose to forgive them, which isn't necessarily serving justice. Or I can say, forgiveness doesn't apply here because we are talking about leaders who just need to get voted out of office. After all, if they weren't in office and/or weren't public figures, they wouldn't bother me so much. I could ignore them.
Writing is a kind of meditation, and now that I have meditated on the subject, I have come up with a plan that should put my heart, mind and soul at some ease.
1. I will not worry about whether or not these two politicians warrant forgiveness. I will not put them in the same category as those who must be forgiven or not forgiven because dealing with politics isn't the same thing as dealing with people one-on-one. I will remain neutral when it comes to their right to forgiveness because, in this case, it's not necessarily about forgiving or not forgiving.
2. I will continue to avoid reading or listening to anything these men say because I maintain anything they say is a lie or intended to manipulate, and that angers me. I recognize that stewing isn't productive.
3. I will continue to believe these men are evil but understand my belief is irrelevant since I am not an all-powerful being who can tell such things. I will acknowledge my belief knowing it has no bearing on how I will proceed.
4. I will acknowledge and embrace my anger and, as I do so, most likely discover it's okay to be angry which will help me deal with my anger and progress in a more productive manner.
5. I will endeavor to help people where I can so the people who are being hurt by these men have what assistance I can lend.
6. I will work with others whose goals to help and heal are similar to mine.
7. I will do what I can to help these men get voted out of office.
8. I will continue down my spiritual path and hopefully gain more wisdom as I progress.
This has been a rather long blog post, and it reflects a lot of process, sans a high degree of intellectualism. But then, I never claimed to be an intellectual. So it's all good.
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